Divorce Papers

Get back up on your feet
Get yourself down to the street
Can you feel it coming together
Better late than never
(Michael James Reich)

One of my resolutions for the year 2004 was to get my divorce. Today, December 31st, 2004, the last day of the year, we got together and signed them and they are ready to go. I guess better late than never...

Stepping off the porch
her heart now lighter
she comprehends
that home is where it has always been
Within.

Lo que forma mis dias
Son los pensamientos desordenados,
Las ideas con flojera,
Los fracasos a medio vivir
En esos bosques, no me importa perderme

10 things to 10 people in my life

1. You would say that you and I had been together in many past lives and that we had found each other again in this one. It’s too bad that it was short-lived. I would’ve loved to spend the rest of my life next to you, but it’s better this way. No matter what happens, know that I’ll always love you and you can count on me.
2. I wish you wouldn’t be so judgmental and such a poser. It’s almost unbearable to be around you and your messy thoughts.
3. I love you so much, you are a big part of my life. I hope nothing but the best for you and I hope that one day you realize that you don’t need to settle for anything just for the sake of not being alone. I will miss you!
4. You must stop doing what you’re doing. It’s not healthy. I hope that you wake up one day and realize that people will only be able to help you when you are open for it.
5. You are the most interesting person I’ve met since I’ve been in Seattle. You are so talented, smart, empathetic and funny, among many other things. I miss hanging out with you and I hope that when I’m gone, you and I stay in touch. The day that you find what you are looking for, it will be winning lottery for her. I wish nothing but the best for you.
6. You are a low life. I have no words for you. I hope that you can’t sleep some nights thinking about you did.
7. I miss you! I think about you often and I look forward to the day when I see you again. I wish you hadn’t been so quick to label things the last times we saw each other, I was just having fun and learning about life. I hope that things in your life are going well and that you found what you were looking for. I will always think of you and smile.
8. Yes. It is so true. We were never friends. Good riddance.
9. Thanks for all the good advise and for knowing what I meant just from looking at me. Thanks for calling me out on my bullshit. If you were 20 years younger, I would so pursue you.
10. Thank you so much for being there for me, at the precise moment I needed you. I will never forget you, the fact that you listened to me and that you let me borrow your shoes.

New York

Wednesday: We arrived at 10:30 am and took the bus to Queens. We said hit o A. uncle, dropped off our bags and headed to the subway station. We stopped for a slice of pizza and headed downtown. J. was so tired that we had to stop and go watch a movie so that he could rest for a bit. We then walked around the Village for a few hours, shopping a little and taking it all in. We then walked to meet up with J.’s friends for dinner. We meet Travis, Fernando and Emily. We then walked for many, many blocks, through Soho, Little Italy and Chinatown until we found the place that Emily recommended for dumplings. We had dinner and then took the subway to Rockefeller Center. The place was amazing! The Christmas decorations and the people ice-skating were out of a movie. We took pictures and then headed to Park Avenue, we walked and walked and walked some more. We crossed the street into Central Park and then, dead tired, took the subway back to Queens.

Thursday: We woke up late and lazied around for a while. It was raining and we were very tired from all the walking we had done the day before so we decided to kind of take it easy that day. We headed to the shops in Queens were I separeated from them to go buy myself a pair or tennis shoes. On my way back to the house, I stopped and got a pedicure! I met Monica that night, very strange and surreal.
Friday: We woke up late again and decided that we were going to go see the art galleries in Chelsea. We took the subway downtown and started walking in the direction we thought was right. Wrong!! We had to take a cab there because it was late and raining. We went into an art exhibition that was showing art from the late 70s-early 80’s. Pretty amazing stuff. I got in an argument with J. because he can be fucking rude sometimes so I decided to skip dinner and the party that we were supposed to go to. Instead, I took a cab to Times Square. Wow! I got there and I couldn’t believe it! I was bummed that I didn’t have my camera with me but I walked around taking it all in. I went to dinner by myself, where I met a really cute waiter. After that, I walked around, looked at the shops and finally found the subway.

Saturday and Sunday: We woke up late, one again…We packed because we were leaving at 4:30 in the morning on Sunday. It was a pretty stressful morning because we couldn’t find any of our stuff, but we finally got it together. W took Lauren with us downtown. We got off in the World Trade Center stop. I had never seen the Twin Towers, so it was hard for me to grasp the concept of how huge they were, but given the hole in the ground, they must’ve been enormous. It was sad for me to be there and imagine of the people that lost their lives there.
After that, we went into a store that was packed and everyone got annoyed so we then took the subway to Macy’s. We met up with Fernando, Travis, Chii and Elizabeth, A.’s other niece. We went into a few stores and then took the subway to Little Italy. We had a really nice dinner and then headed to Times Square. Annie and I got into a little argument but we talked it through. We went into Virgin Records, where I bought the last U2 CD. Yay! We hen took pictures and walked to find the David Letterman Show. We took some more pictures, lie the idiots that we are. We had a cup of coffee and by then it was almost 3 in the morning so we said goodbye to J.’s friends and headed back to Queens so that the girls could sleep and we could pick up our luggage and head to the airport. We got to the airport feeling so damn tired, but happy that we had stayed up and enjoyed the city until the last minute. We caught out plane into Detroit where we were received by a snowstorm. We then headed to Seattle, the northern route, through Canada because of the weather. I passed out immediately and then woke up to the most amazing view of snowed mountains and frozen rivers. We finally made it to Seattle at around noon and home. Ahhhhh, home sweet home.

Friday

I just got home from work and running and errand. I walked in, got into my favorite pajamas, my Christmasy pajamas. Now I'm gonna work on this page to see if I can make it look better. I decided to go back to a regular blogger template because, since I'm not very familiar with html yet, all of my attempts looked good for a few days and then I would have broken links, or my pictures would disappear. I think I'll just keep it simple this time around but I definitely want to change the colors and the fonts.
A while ago, I had decided that I would write on this page at least once a day and I haven't been doing that. I want to start doing that from now on and see what happens. I think I'll go cut my hair now.

Start spreading the news

... I'm leaving on Wednesday to New York!!! I'm so freaking excited, I cannot even begin to tell you. Joel, Annie and I are going on a 5 day extravaganza to check out the big city. I have so many things I want to go see and I have a feeling I won't want to come back. So... if you don't hear back from me, you know where to find me. Not that anyone reads this hehehe.

Update

Un monton de cosas han pasado desde la ultima vez que escribi aca.

• J. Esta internado.
• Decidi quedarme un tiempo mas
• Bush gano las elecciones (grr)
• Mi auto se jodio
• Ch. y yo ya no hablamos a partir de hoydia
• F. vino a mi casa y vimos una pelicula, como en los viejos tiempos, despues se fue y no he vuelto a saber de el.

Nada bueno ultimamente. Perdon el bajon

Tapas

I just got back from having the best tapas ever! Annie, Joel and I went to Harvest Vine to celebrate Annie's 30th birthday. We had everything in the menu and it was all excellent. Now I'm alone downstairs smoking a cigarette and listening to some songs that Charly told me to download. It has been a very good day all in all.

Bleh

I just talked to my brothers J an B and sister M.. I miss them so much! I also talked to my friend Isabel and she told me she coming up in January or February and I can't wait. I aslo tried calling my fried Carlos Enrique to talk to him becuase him and his wife recently lost their twins at birth. I am so sad for them, it's just not right.
So it's the weekend again and again I'm here alone. I wish that time could fly.

Yeah you

You call me up, telling me you want to see me, you write telling me you miss me, you make plans, tell me to trust you, that you would call or show up. Well, like always(who knows why?) I beleived you and it sucks that you think that you can still act that way with me. Well let me tell you something, I don't want to play games, I never did and I don't want to start now. I can never count on you. You are the one that is supposed to be trying, you arethe one that needs to put the most effort, becuase YOU fucked up. So I don't know what makes you think you can call me up and make plans with me to later on basically shit on it. Remember.. YOU are the one that told me you wanted to see me. If you cannot even get around to keeping a promise as simple as picking up the damn phone or, god forbid, be trustworhy, then what makes youthink you I'd ever venture into getting back with you. I'm very fucking pist. With that said, I don't think you and I should see each other again. I'm moving away in May, and this time is forreal, it's time for me to move on with my life and put you behind.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
(Green Day)

I remember when I was young I used to hate watching TV. I would rather be playing, or eavesdropping my parents conversation or bothering someone in the kitchen. Now a days, most of the times, I get home, shower, eat something and then park my ass in front of the TV. As I’m doing this, I think about 40 times that it’s not good, that I already spend most of my day sitting down at work in front of a screen. It can’t be healthy to get home and do the same, my ass will only get fatter and my muscles will turn into jelly. Bottom line, I have a severe case of the lazies and it just ain’t cutting it. Therefore, this weekend I pronounce it "Fuck TV" weekend. So there.

greasy lunch

I just came back from lunch. I decided to not be lame and take the bus down to the Pike Place Market, specifically to Johnny Rockets for a burger. I haven’t had one since highschool and I remembered how much i used to like them, so I thought, what the hell. Well, 8 bucks and a greasy burger (no fries!) later, I’ve decided that it was not worth it, it was nasty and expensive.

Anyways.

Moving on to bigger and better things…
It’s almost the weekend! Yay!! I think I have plans for Saturday afternoon, but they won’t be confirmed till later on today after he calls me. I made a list of the things I need to ask him and discuss with him because I noticed yesterday that when he calls I forget everything I need to say.

Early in the morning, risin' to the street
Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money's all gone
(Sublime)

Y asi pasan los dias.

what to do, what to do...

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
(Bernard Berenson)

Ok. So here I find myself again in a position similar to last year around the same time of year. I really need to make up my mind about a few things and do them already. I need some extra money to do this and I need to figure out how i'm going to get it, so if you have any ideas, please shoot them my way. Regarding Fran, well, who knows what will happen. He makes me mad!
As per this damn cold weather, well with me , I guess it really all depends on the weather. This past weekend was crazy, fights, boredom, movies, bad food, discovery of an unwanted visitor, feeling good about taking steps to bettering my situation, conversations, phone calls and not much more.
Pretty lame entry, but that's my mood right now...

Goodbye Diego

Another world where the birds always sing
Another world where the sun always shines
Another world where nothing ever dies...
(The Cure)

I got a call from my friend Silvana yesterday to tell me that my friend Diego Bravo had been killed. It was such a sad, very sad shocking moment. Apparently, someone broke into his house to rob it and hit him in the head with a bat. His girlfriend and him were sleeping. This happened Friday night and he died Saturday morning. My heart goes out to his family and his girlfriend. I will miss him and remember him always.

Vote

Everytime I hear about the beheadings that are going on in Iraq, my heart contracts in pain. I cannot imagine the pain that the victims’s families go through. This all needs to stop, the killings, the war, the pain… I’m a U.S resident, therefore I cannot vote, but I ask of all of you who can, to please do so.

Tuesday night is party time

We all went out last night. We went to Chopstix, the dueling piano bar in my neighborhood where we had a few drinks, ate dinner and prayed so that the singers wouldn’t target us and make us go up on stage. It was a lot of fun. After that we went to Capitol Hill because Maribel wanted to go the one of the gay bars there, Wild Rose or something like that. We had a really good time there trying to encourage Maribel to go talk to the girl she liked. She eventually did but it was almost too late because the girl was out the door. At around 1:30 am we crossed the street and went to Barça, had an interesting conversation and then got kicked out because the bar was closing. I went home and feel a sleep immediately Ohh how I loved my bed ... Last night was fun!

It’s Wednesday morning now and I’m at work hungover but ok. I think I’ll go have some eggs now, see ya later.

143

In your room
Where souls disappear
Only you exist here
Will you lead me to your armchair
Or leave me lying here
Your favorite innocence
Your favorite prize
Your favorite smile
Your favorite slave
(In Your Room – Depeche Mode)

I remember the first time we moved in together. It was years ago, when we were both 18 years old and very much in love. We had been dating for a year when I decided to move to L.A. to do… God knows what…the thing is that I had moved away and left him. His heart was broken, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and it was, altogether, a miserable situation. We wrote to each other every single day of the six months that I was there, beautiful love letters, some even written in blood (I know, I know, we were kids!). We called each other every night and swore that when I got back, we would get married and love each other forever. I finally got back, moved in with him amd made love every day and every night. We would stay in bed days on end in the little room he had in that little house by the airport. Whenever we weren’t in the room, we would watch Sienfeld or walk to the corner store for ice cream or soda. We would walk past the pink house that was number 143 and tell each other that one day we would buy that house and our children would grow up there. God, we were so young and naïve! We had no money, we weren’t working and our families were concerned about us.

Eventually, we had to separate. He left to Virginia to live with his mom, I went back to Argentina to live with my parents but we always kept in touch, we always told each other that we would be together again someday. Years passed, many things happened… The day did come. We did find each other again and we got married, very much in love. In bed, years later, we would reminisce about the days spent in the little room and wondered if the pink house of love would someday be ours.

Me, Myself and I

This weekend was a very relaxing one. At moments, too damn relaxing. I was supposed to go to Vancouver with Annie , Joel, Maribel and Pablo but ended up not going. They left Friday at noon and I was supposed to drive up there and meet up with them. I thought about it and considered my options. The drive up there by myself would’ve been nice, the city, a little time off, the company, they all sounded awesome… but I can’t spend any money for a while, so I decided to hang out by myself. I did, I watched TV, took my car to get washed, I cooked for myself what I wanted, I drove up north on Saturday to a casino, where I played for a little bit, lost 20 bucks and left. On Sunday I woke up at 11:30 am, made lunch and hung out at home. I did a little bit of beading, and waited for Tania y call me. Edgar, my dad’s lawyer sent some peppers for this Bolivian couple that lives here in Seattle. So I waited for them to come over, but they called me to tell me they were stuck in traffic downtown, so I decided to go meet up with them by the Key Arena. Really nice people. I came home and had dinner and read a little, talked on the phone and watched TV until it was bed time. Really nice weekend, all to myself. I’ve been doing some thinking about my purpose here and the reasons why I’m still living here and I’ve made up my mind on certain things. I won’t discuss them here yet, but I will soon let you guys know what’s going on.
So it’s Monday, I’m listening to an old Power 96 tape from back in the day… give it up for booty music!!