Recuerdos
Vamos mi carino que todo esta bien
esta noche cambiare, te juro que cambiare
vamos mi carino ya no llores mas
por vos yo bajaria el sol
o me hundiria en el mar

Ayer revise los papeles de divorcio. Anteriormente, cada vez que los agarraba y empezaba a leer me daba una sensacion de que el mundo se me cerraba, que me faltaba aire que no podia con tanto papelerio.
Esta semana, lo extrañe mas que nunca. Pero los papeles.... ya no me marearon.

pensamientos disipados, desordenados, marcados
sale de mi boca cualquier cosa, que importa ya
quisiera poder tocarte una vez mas
mirarte a los ojos y reconocerte
ver quien eras, verte y verme en ellos

(Me)

Heart Troubles
Someone once said that it takes a health scare to re-prioritize...
Well, shit...if this aint it then I don’t know what to say. I have Mitral Valve Prolapse. That is
when one of your heart valves is leaking blood. I ended up in the ER Monday night and spent a good five hours there. Went home all doped up after a few vicodins, some nasty tasting gel they had me swallow and after the horror (to me) of having blood drawn for testing. I went home, has weird dreams while being awake. I slept, roughly 3 hours, woke up the next morning and went to work. The chest pain was still present and I was really tired.
I got home and there was a message from the hospital saying I should call them to go over my blood test results. I have pneumonia. So here I am, sick like I have not been in a while, feeling a little sorry for myself and missing my family like crazy.
I hate this cold weather and I hate genes. Sorry for this lame-ass entry but I am a lame-ass today.

My chest has been hurting a lot lately and now the pain is in my back and my arm as well. I don't know why or how to make it go away, but it has me a little worried. I might take myself to the emergency room tonight.

I spoke to my good friend Delma Lorena -who is living in Spain- Saturday night. She was so sad when she called :( I hope thing start going well for her.

Bleh... I have nothing to say today.

I finished reading Bodacious Succulent Women last night and I highly recommend it to all women that feel repressed but want to live wildly and freely. Camp Sark, if you are hiring, let me know!!!:)
This made me think of my grandmother. She gets to Miami this Saturday to spend some time with my sister and her family. She might be coming up to Seattle to see me, that’s if she’s feeling well since the flight is so long. I would love to have her here and see her, show her around and spend some time with her.
She is a difficult woman, strong headed, passive-aggressive, a little manipulative but I love her. She has suffered a lot in life, gone through 28 major operations, lived to see a son kill himself, visited two sons in jail, one of the latter hates the family so much, he has written crazy manifestos describing family details, published them in the towns newspaper, pointed a loaded gun at my 10 year old cousin and done many other unspeakable things. He is my godfather.
Back to my Mama Sonia... She lived though it all and then some and she still manages to get up in the morning, put a dress on, do her hair, put her make-up on, go shopping, spend time with her foofoo friends, eat a five course meal every day, and raise a teenager (my cousin Briana). She is an example of succulence and womanhood and I hope she lives to be 100.

I have been reading Sark lately and her books bring me joy. They make me believe that there is
hope, that I can be creative, that procrastination is not a permanent thing, that you should believe
in yourself, play with your inner child and think positive.
Her books are not the regular you-can-do-it-feel-good books. They are truly original and just
looking at them makes you feel colorful. I will follow her advise and try to write at least for five minutes every day about anything. I hope I don't bore you. Oh by the way... I 'll be changing the look on my blog again. It's impossible to read with the big ole flower in the middle. It's really annoying so bear with me for a bit until it's gone.
So changing subjects... I have been giving my m.... a lot of thought lately. I have been doing a lot of research and I'm trying to be organized about it and do it the right way this time around. I still haven't made up my mind completely but being informed is the best way to make a decision. I will have to make up my mind soon but for now, I'm just taking it one day at a time.