Yeah you

You call me up, telling me you want to see me, you write telling me you miss me, you make plans, tell me to trust you, that you would call or show up. Well, like always(who knows why?) I beleived you and it sucks that you think that you can still act that way with me. Well let me tell you something, I don't want to play games, I never did and I don't want to start now. I can never count on you. You are the one that is supposed to be trying, you arethe one that needs to put the most effort, becuase YOU fucked up. So I don't know what makes you think you can call me up and make plans with me to later on basically shit on it. Remember.. YOU are the one that told me you wanted to see me. If you cannot even get around to keeping a promise as simple as picking up the damn phone or, god forbid, be trustworhy, then what makes youthink you I'd ever venture into getting back with you. I'm very fucking pist. With that said, I don't think you and I should see each other again. I'm moving away in May, and this time is forreal, it's time for me to move on with my life and put you behind.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
(Green Day)

I remember when I was young I used to hate watching TV. I would rather be playing, or eavesdropping my parents conversation or bothering someone in the kitchen. Now a days, most of the times, I get home, shower, eat something and then park my ass in front of the TV. As I’m doing this, I think about 40 times that it’s not good, that I already spend most of my day sitting down at work in front of a screen. It can’t be healthy to get home and do the same, my ass will only get fatter and my muscles will turn into jelly. Bottom line, I have a severe case of the lazies and it just ain’t cutting it. Therefore, this weekend I pronounce it "Fuck TV" weekend. So there.

greasy lunch

I just came back from lunch. I decided to not be lame and take the bus down to the Pike Place Market, specifically to Johnny Rockets for a burger. I haven’t had one since highschool and I remembered how much i used to like them, so I thought, what the hell. Well, 8 bucks and a greasy burger (no fries!) later, I’ve decided that it was not worth it, it was nasty and expensive.

Anyways.

Moving on to bigger and better things…
It’s almost the weekend! Yay!! I think I have plans for Saturday afternoon, but they won’t be confirmed till later on today after he calls me. I made a list of the things I need to ask him and discuss with him because I noticed yesterday that when he calls I forget everything I need to say.

Early in the morning, risin' to the street
Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money's all gone
(Sublime)

Y asi pasan los dias.

what to do, what to do...

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
(Bernard Berenson)

Ok. So here I find myself again in a position similar to last year around the same time of year. I really need to make up my mind about a few things and do them already. I need some extra money to do this and I need to figure out how i'm going to get it, so if you have any ideas, please shoot them my way. Regarding Fran, well, who knows what will happen. He makes me mad!
As per this damn cold weather, well with me , I guess it really all depends on the weather. This past weekend was crazy, fights, boredom, movies, bad food, discovery of an unwanted visitor, feeling good about taking steps to bettering my situation, conversations, phone calls and not much more.
Pretty lame entry, but that's my mood right now...

Goodbye Diego

Another world where the birds always sing
Another world where the sun always shines
Another world where nothing ever dies...
(The Cure)

I got a call from my friend Silvana yesterday to tell me that my friend Diego Bravo had been killed. It was such a sad, very sad shocking moment. Apparently, someone broke into his house to rob it and hit him in the head with a bat. His girlfriend and him were sleeping. This happened Friday night and he died Saturday morning. My heart goes out to his family and his girlfriend. I will miss him and remember him always.

Vote

Everytime I hear about the beheadings that are going on in Iraq, my heart contracts in pain. I cannot imagine the pain that the victims’s families go through. This all needs to stop, the killings, the war, the pain… I’m a U.S resident, therefore I cannot vote, but I ask of all of you who can, to please do so.

Tuesday night is party time

We all went out last night. We went to Chopstix, the dueling piano bar in my neighborhood where we had a few drinks, ate dinner and prayed so that the singers wouldn’t target us and make us go up on stage. It was a lot of fun. After that we went to Capitol Hill because Maribel wanted to go the one of the gay bars there, Wild Rose or something like that. We had a really good time there trying to encourage Maribel to go talk to the girl she liked. She eventually did but it was almost too late because the girl was out the door. At around 1:30 am we crossed the street and went to Barça, had an interesting conversation and then got kicked out because the bar was closing. I went home and feel a sleep immediately Ohh how I loved my bed ... Last night was fun!

It’s Wednesday morning now and I’m at work hungover but ok. I think I’ll go have some eggs now, see ya later.

143

In your room
Where souls disappear
Only you exist here
Will you lead me to your armchair
Or leave me lying here
Your favorite innocence
Your favorite prize
Your favorite smile
Your favorite slave
(In Your Room – Depeche Mode)

I remember the first time we moved in together. It was years ago, when we were both 18 years old and very much in love. We had been dating for a year when I decided to move to L.A. to do… God knows what…the thing is that I had moved away and left him. His heart was broken, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and it was, altogether, a miserable situation. We wrote to each other every single day of the six months that I was there, beautiful love letters, some even written in blood (I know, I know, we were kids!). We called each other every night and swore that when I got back, we would get married and love each other forever. I finally got back, moved in with him amd made love every day and every night. We would stay in bed days on end in the little room he had in that little house by the airport. Whenever we weren’t in the room, we would watch Sienfeld or walk to the corner store for ice cream or soda. We would walk past the pink house that was number 143 and tell each other that one day we would buy that house and our children would grow up there. God, we were so young and naïve! We had no money, we weren’t working and our families were concerned about us.

Eventually, we had to separate. He left to Virginia to live with his mom, I went back to Argentina to live with my parents but we always kept in touch, we always told each other that we would be together again someday. Years passed, many things happened… The day did come. We did find each other again and we got married, very much in love. In bed, years later, we would reminisce about the days spent in the little room and wondered if the pink house of love would someday be ours.

Me, Myself and I

This weekend was a very relaxing one. At moments, too damn relaxing. I was supposed to go to Vancouver with Annie , Joel, Maribel and Pablo but ended up not going. They left Friday at noon and I was supposed to drive up there and meet up with them. I thought about it and considered my options. The drive up there by myself would’ve been nice, the city, a little time off, the company, they all sounded awesome… but I can’t spend any money for a while, so I decided to hang out by myself. I did, I watched TV, took my car to get washed, I cooked for myself what I wanted, I drove up north on Saturday to a casino, where I played for a little bit, lost 20 bucks and left. On Sunday I woke up at 11:30 am, made lunch and hung out at home. I did a little bit of beading, and waited for Tania y call me. Edgar, my dad’s lawyer sent some peppers for this Bolivian couple that lives here in Seattle. So I waited for them to come over, but they called me to tell me they were stuck in traffic downtown, so I decided to go meet up with them by the Key Arena. Really nice people. I came home and had dinner and read a little, talked on the phone and watched TV until it was bed time. Really nice weekend, all to myself. I’ve been doing some thinking about my purpose here and the reasons why I’m still living here and I’ve made up my mind on certain things. I won’t discuss them here yet, but I will soon let you guys know what’s going on.
So it’s Monday, I’m listening to an old Power 96 tape from back in the day… give it up for booty music!!